I never even considered using a rebus to solve this one. When I saw the first F, I filled in the quip (which I had remembered hearing before, making that reveal extremely easy to uncover) and just assumed all the PH's had been replaced with F's, and that was meant to be the while point.
@lawrence That’s exactly what I did as well. Worked great that way, in my opinion!
@lawrence Hand up for that approach...and since I had been filling with LARGE LETTERS in purple ink, I didn't bother to change/correct things, knowing that the online solvers would be allowed to use just one letter.
Phyllis Dietrichson: Neff is the name, isn't it? Walter Neff: Yeah. Two "F"s, like in Philadelphia… — Double indemnity (1944)
@Fact Boy That reminds me of *Thomson, without a P, as in Venezuela."
This puzzle wasn't too diphphicult phor a Thursday, once I phigured out the rebus.
Mr. Charlton, you're too phunny! That's what I thought as I substituted the PH's with F's, never once occurring to me that this was a good ol' rebus puzzle. What with Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year's all wrapped into one, I guess my brain's taken a hit. I'm also completely lost in time and space. In fact, just now I'm getting around to welcoming back Will Shortz. What a wonderful holiday gift you've given us, knowing that you're now well enough to once again steer the ship. It's simply fantastic. That said, heartfelt appreciation goes to Joel Fagliano for seamlessly and skillfully navigating from the editor's seat. Well done, sir. Along with Will and Joel, I wish a Happy and Healthy New Year to the Games team, Deb, Caitlin, Sam, the constructors, and this very special commentariat. You all are what keeps me coming back day after day. Thank you! May you and your near and dear have a beautiful year! 🌟
Seemed harder than an average rebussy Thursday for me. The tiny SW corner in particular, without knowing EMIL Jannings, was a bunch of guesswork. Happy to see Steven Wright get a shoutout, however. "If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
@Richard "I need something to help me remember the word 'mnemonic'."
Spiny mammal who loves grammar: Phonic the Hedgehog (I'm game for these puns.)
@Mike Echidna not -- phonics and grammar are different. But I get your point. It's all about the semantics, eh emus?
@Mike Are you a stickler for accuracy, or do you try to weasel your way past difficulties, hedging your bets and trying to skunk the other solvers, sly fox that you are?
@Mike Phacts and phacts. You don't need a fotograffic momory to know a hedgehog phrom a hacksaw. (May the Phorce bewitch you.)
@Mike I had grandchildren at my house the last week. We watched the first 2 Sonic movies. I'd never seen them. Hadn't missed much.....
Funnily, we just had pho for dinner, so I could relate. It got me thinking whether there are any other words or names like STEPHEN where the "ph" is pronounced "v." It's also interesting that the Philippines are named after Philip II of Spain, but the people are referred to as Filipinos, from Las Islas Filipinas. Language really is a catchall sometimes. Love this puzzle, it had everything you'd want in a Thursday puzzle, a good revealer, lots of theme answers and quite a bit of humor. The ambisexual nymphomaniac, for example, always good for a chuckle--until they overstay their welcome on your futon, and leave your tendons frayed. Also liked the "low pair" of ELF and DWARF, the Achilles tendons recalling the Iliad, the bookends of ALPHA and ENDERS, frayed and afraid so, and the odd duo of AMIS and AMOS. Good to see Orson Scott Card sharing space with ambisexual: he's been an outspoken homophobe, and even sat on the board of the National Organization for Marriage for 4 years, a group that actively campaigns against gay marriage. I'm told his books occasionally feature self-hating gay characters. But as the puzzle says (good advice in general): LET IT GO. Possible good new year's resolution, too. I bet my family is going to say "Let it go!" pretty regularly this coming year...
@john ezra -- Paragraph two ... gold!
@john ezra In an early version of this column, I misspelled the quipster Steven Wright's name as Stephen. A copy editor caught it, and I was like well that's funny given the content of the puzzle...
Wait, what? It was a rebus? Did. Not. Notice. Very phorgiving! I just plopped in an F thinking they were *all* spelled fonetically.
I accidentally let my 1000+ day streak end last April (I had a typo in a single square and forgot to come back to fix it!) and proceeded to ignore the puzzle for the rest of the year. Yesterday felt like a good day to return! I’ve missed the Thursday puzzles the most, and this one did not disappoint. Happy 2025, all!
“What’s another word for thesaurus?” “There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.” “My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.” “If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?” “If you tell a joke in the forest but nobody laughs, was it a joke?” “ When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.” “ I had amnesia once or twice.” “ If you write the word "monkey" a million times, do you start to think you're Shakespeare?” “ You can't have everything. Where would you put it?” Phunny man, Stephen Wright.
@Heidi -- To go with that elevator joke, here's another line of his: “There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.”
@Heidi "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
My Steven Wright favorites: “Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?” "Always remember your unique, just like eveyone else." "How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word?" "I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
@Heidi One of my Steven Wright favorites: " I used to wear glasses, but then my prescription ran out " Enjoyed the puzzle! Unlike many others, I entered the rebus of PH in all 8 boxes. Got the gold star!
Gonna be that obligatory *Pinoy Pride* person. Always a pleasure to see representation that way. My parents’ anniversary is today, and I was able to show them this. My mother was surprised I play, and she let me know that when she first arrived to the US she would try the NYT crosswords but it would be so hard for her (immigrants acclimating to pop culture, learning a new language, that whole thing). Showing her this clue and seeing my mom’s face light up that she knew the answer was so beautiful.
@AT That's awesome! Mabuhay to your parents.
A great moment in solving crosswords for me is when I’m puzzled over a clue, then suddenly the answer hits me – and that answer makes perfect sense. I love getting gotten good like that. Today, I was gotten good again, but in a different way – by being hit by the unexpected. After seeing [Start of a quip by comic Steven Wright], I assumed this was simply a quip puzzle. Every quip puzzle I’ve seen has a quote to crack and nothing theme-wise beyond that. So today, when it became clear that there was something else going on – and it was related to the quip – that was a wow. Here was something new in crosswords! I just had to stop for a moment, dwell on how clever it was for Robert to come up with that, and nod with respect. Oh, the solve gave me some lovely resistance, and had lovely touches. One that especially tickled me was [Achilles, for two], because whenever there's an [x, for two] clue, that “x” is always two items, not one, such as in [“Iliad” and “Odyssey”, for two] for EPICS. Always. That’s another crossword first in this puzzle. Happy surprises and plenty of riddle cracking for me today, Robert. Thank you for a sweet start to the second day of the year!
ALFA is also a correct answer on its face - it's the proper spelling of the first word of the NATO alphabet.
@Marc Missed opportunity to double up on the theme, or maybe it was meant that way
@Marc It would have been better to just clue it as a Greek letter. Or a generation.
Marveous, Marc! I see what you did: ‘The proper spelling’ of letters in the PHONETIC alphabet! Two hours and 30 comments and no one has recognized what a card you are …
For those who are wondering, you can get the gold star without using the Rebus. Just use F in all the appropriate squares
@Steven M. Exactly what I did. The phonetic substitution seemed to me what the puzzle was seeking.
@Steven M. Yup. Actually didn’t even realize it was a rebus until after I solved and then went to look at the article. Only used fs because I thought that’s what was wanted.
@Steven M. I did all Fs too and it was nice and quick. I hate when the rebus has different across and down letters, as I always have to check that I am using the right order. So now I just stick to one set.
@Steven M. Add me to the list of people who thought F made sense in light of the way the revealer clue was worded. I thought NYMFO was kinda funny and didn’t realize that I had missed the rebus until I read the column.
@Steven M. The day I let go of streaks and gold stars was a great step forward in my spiritual development. I knew the puzzle was solved, but had no interest, in trying to please the software with the input style it was looking for.
Happy new year, crossword phamily! I phound this to be a great phirst rebus of the year; not too comphounding (phor me) for a Fursday and did not leave me with a phrown. Quite phrankly, I have always phound the mix of fonetics to be quite phascinating, particularly since many fonic quirks of English have resulted from borrowing (or outright linguistic pheft!) from other languages! Having said all that I suspect I’d phind all this fonic mischief much less phun were English not my phirst language! Imagine trying to use these correctly in common frasing and paragrafs… ooph, I pheel exhausted just imagining it! Anyway, fanks to Robert Charlton phor a phabulous grid, and a phond welcome back phor Will Shortz! I wish all my phellow puzzlers a phantastic 2025.
@Horsefeathers LOL - very phunny!
@Horsefeathers That reads like a medieval text! Swap the S for F, you could be a Lindisfarne monk.
"I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance." If you're not familiar with Steven Wright, I recommend checking out a video or two. His delivery is key to the humor.
I can see why the constructor says this puzzle is his favorite. It is pretty ingenious. The north west corner had me stumped for a while. I had no luck haphazardly guessing the three or four letter letters in that area that I was unsure about, so I went about it systematically after that failed. First I was able to figure out that the name Norm had to be the answer for that particular clue so then I went about trying to figure out the lead in to sexual, and when the B fit I knew I was about done. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a puzzle that has a quotation that spans several answers. At first, I thought that alone was the theme, but then the revealer mentioned eight cells within the puzzle and I suspected that those might be rebuses. To tie the quotation to the rebus answers was ingenious and a bonus theme. I really love this puzzle.
@Jim A few years ago, Will sent out a message that discouraged quip quote puzzles. He felt they were wearing out their welcome. I guess that's why you haven't seen one recently.
Had never heard of Steven Wright or his alleged quip, which made for a rather gloomy start to this one. Not a big fan of "Isn't English crazy!?!" jokes, or of rebuses that involve "/", so that made me even more downcast. But plugged away at it, finding enough crosses to fill or guess the inaccessible clues, and actually began to perk up as stuff started to fall into place. So even a theme I don't like can give me a puzzle I enjoy. There's a lesson, right there.
@Oikofuge One of our favorite Steven Wright jokes. (Imagine it delivered in his usual deadpan... or Eeyore...voice): I bought a humidifier and a dehumidifier. [pause] I put them in a room together, and let them fight it out.
@Momerlyn I spilled spot remover on my dog... Now he's gone.
@Oikofuge His wry humor is very heavy on word usage, but is rarely about the craziness of English. Although his quotable are many and great, try watching him on Youtube to enjoy the deadpan delivery.
I often check to see who edited the days puzzle and was surprised and THRILLED to see Will Shortz is back! I hadn’t noticed over the holiday! Welcome back Will!!!!!!!! Thank you Joel for keeping us on our toes!
I was all ‘I know how to do bi-directional rebi, you don’t f/phool me’. Then come here to find just sticking in an F worked fine. Doh. A good puzzle, despite not knowing either the comedian or the quip. A fairly gentle ease into the New Year rebus Thursday. Didn’t help that I mis-read pixel for Pixar at 5A. Spent ages trying to think of an animation studio that would fit. I’m back on no sugar ketovore today after the (excessive) excesses of Christmas and New Year. I have a few pounds of damage to undo before I see the GP in 3 weeks. Can’t have him gloating at my falling off the Diabetes remission. The detox headache has kicked in; not looking forward to the next few days. If my posts during that time are a little snippy, I apologise in advance. Normal service will resume in about a week. (Hides head under duvet).
@Helen Wright I'm ready to get back to normal eating, as well. (She says while sweeping croissant crumbs off her desk...) OK I have a ways to go. A couple days of delicious leftovers are in the fridge, and my daughter's box of homemade cookies is in the mail. Good thing I am still getting out walking!
Rebuses? What rebuses? I read the revealer (clue and answer) to mean eight squares in the puzzle would have an F as an F in one direction and an F for a PH is the other direction, so only an F needed to be entered in the eight squares. N.B. You can say NATO all you want; we were ALPHA ("Mighty, mighty Alpha") in Basic.
@Barry Ancona Me too! I realized that they wanted a PH/F rebus halfway through, then realized that nobody in the world was going to see and judge my puzzle, and that it wasn't a competition, so I just kept going with the Fs. It's great.
@Barry Ancona Nope. The rebuses make the down clues to be spelled correctly. The revealer wasn't specific enough to mean what you said.
For once a Thursday puzzle that was a rebus that I didn’t need to fill in the rebus box. Figured out the saying very quickly and then made it easy by just using “f”. Bested my Thursday average by 2:47. Nice way to start the new year.
I hate ALer or NLer of NBAer etc. Liked the quote though. I picked up on the theme pretty quickly but didn't know the quote until I could phill in enough crosses.
@John I’m with you on ALER and the like. I can put up with a lot of crosswordisms, but those completely made up constructs that no one really uses just bother me for some reason. Also completely agree about Steven Wright, or as I think of him, Steven (Wry)ght.
Puzzle seemed a bit basic to me. Or am I just too acidic?
I'm glad some of you found this easy. I had to cheat three times, and on a Thursday, yet. My first cheat was before I had the quote. It was on Ryan LOCHTE. "Once I have the quote", I thought, "I won't have to cheat anymore." Wrong. Because I did get the quote with the help of LOCHTE, but I still had to cheat twice more -- on the completely unknown ENDERS and on the "I know it, but I can't think of it" Trevor NOAH. I've watched him many times, for heaven's sake -- but that's what the forgetfulness of Senioritis does to you. Despite my phrustration, I liked this crunchy puzzle a lot. Without all those names, I would have loved it.
@Nancy “Phrustration” pretty much summed it up!
@Nancy Because Thursday puzzles are so often filled with self-indulgent goofiness, IMO there is no such thing as "cheating" on a Thursday.
Love Steven Wright + Love rebus puzzles + Love puzzles that are more than a little bit chewy = Great Thursday puzzle!
@Heidi got it started by listing some favorite Steven Wright jokes, and I think that the quality of these comments would benefit by including a favorite (or two or three) every once in a while. So here are some of mine: “Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?” "Always remember your unique, just like eveyone else." "How come 'abbreviated' is such a long word?" "I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
@The X-Phile I assume you meant “you’re” …
@The X-Phile My favorite is "I went fishing with a dotted line. I caught every other fish."
That was phun and phast. I typically get impatient with puzzles that rely on a quote spanning several clues, but a Steven Wright quip is always worth the effort. An enjoyable Thursday offering.
I'm another "didn't worry about a rebus" and just used the letter F for all the questionable answers (although I did realize that PH worked for the acrosses) and it worked out well. Fun puzzle, and Happy New Year! Thanks, Robert.
Phun, phun, phun! A crossword with a Wrightism? Phabulous phrivolity phlowing phreely! But, right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time… I think I’ve forgotten this before.
@CCNY That was SW. Not CC. Definitely not that clever.
@CCNY Now THAT’S funny! Thank you for not forgetting that one. Lately I’m remembering things that I forgot that I forgot long ago. It’s amazing what’s lurking in those deep crevices of our minds.
On the advice of my bestie, George Bernard, I filled in all the rebus squares with "GH"--and voilà! it worked! Here's a favorite from another bestie, Claudio Monteverdi--check out the BASS notes on that archlute--that'll give any lutenist teorbo-ENVY! <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjP0vak5E2s" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjP0vak5E2s</a> (She doesn't get off her futon until about 1:35) Since I didn't get a chance to say it yesterday, Health and Happiness, Peace and Prosperity in 2025, to Deb, Sam, Catilin, guesting Elle, and to all my fellow Wordplayers.
“All of you who believe in telekinesis, raise my right hand.” -Stephen Wright
Where's our Filipino friend who never saw his native cuisine in the puzzle? Here are two items in one clue!
@Steve L I’m not that person but I was happy to see this! Were you talking about the BEEF adobo clue from a while back? I do agree that traditionally it is with chicken, pork, or squid, but you can really make an adobo out of anything as long as there’s soy sauce and vinegar :P
Steven Wright was the voice of K-Billy in Reservoir Dogs, the host of the radio program K-Billy's Super Sounds of the 70's. That was The Partridge Family's "Doesn't Somebody Want to be Wanted?", followed by Edison Lighthouse's "Love Grows where my Rosemary Goes" as K-Billy's Super Sounds of the 70's weekend just keeps on... truckin'. Just a bit of trivia for all you SW fans. I see from the comments there are quite a few of you, not just the constructor. As a side note, things are easier in Spanish! A photo is a foto and a pharmacy is a farmacia, and yes, phonetic is fonético.
@Roberto Except that no one can predict when an H will show up, since it has no sound.
One of the most enjoyable Thursday solves I've had in a long time. Thank you!
Phantastic! Phun-philled!
The lights went on when I finally grokked (don't tell anyone I used that word) to the rebus. After that, all was made clear and it positively blossomed. This was a delightful puzzle, fun to work and challenging. Onward, Robert Charlton, I'm sure the third time will be a charmer. Only one look-up, an auspicious beginning to 2025—at least for me. (I can barely breathe when I think about the rest of the world.)
Will Shortz is back! Hooray! I was beginning to doubt and worry. Now I can return to obsessing about the rapidly-approaching presidential foofaraw. Happy New Year, puzzlers.
I was with those who didn’t realize the rebus option was an option until reading the column. Just had F for everything and assumed that was the point based on the joke. Still took me a lot longer than average, but I was half watching Steel Magnolias and wondering as I do every time why Shelby couldn’t just carry some glucose tabs around.
@Justin I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.
This was fun. Steven Wright. One of my favorites. You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? Hadn’t heard the joke in this puzzle before. Pitch perfect Wright joke, though, so entirely solvable. And thank you for allowing multiple solutions in the key boxes. Filled in the grid on my phone without any corrections necessary and no futzing with the correct entries for the tricky clues.
Welcome back Will A fenomenal way to start the new crossword year! And Bravo, Robert, phor the alfabetical challenge!
This did not have to be filled in with rebus entries. I just used a F and received congratulations at the end. I really liked the joke.
Today's The Guardian has an interesting review of a book on Britishisms in American English. It will probably be of interest to many cruciverbalists. Here it is: <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2025/jan/02/gobsmacked-by-ben-yagoda-review-the-british-invasion-of-american-english" target="_blank">https://www.theguardian.com/books/2025/jan/02/gobsmacked-by-ben-yagoda-review-the-british-invasion-of-american-english</a>
@Andrzej Thanks for this! Will check it out.
@Andrzej Great article and the book sounds fascinating. I believe my family's use of "bonkers" started when my brother became obsessed with all things related to the English football team Leeds United. Thanks!
I didn’t even think of it as a rebus, just put in the f everywhere. Was briefly stuck in the NW corner but changed ragged to frayed and it all fell into place.
This puzzle put a grin on my face. I mean literally, when I caught on to the theme, and even after I finished it. Lots of chuckling. Very well done. Any puzzle that quotes a good Steven Wright quip (are there any other kind?) is already earning points right out of the starting gate. I just filled things in with "F's", didn't even occur to me to consider it as a rebus; after all, Steven Wright is Right! It SHOULD all be fonetic! (In fact that's how his name should be spelled, natch). I too was put in mind of the whole Filipino/ Philippines thing, nice extra "aha, hmmm, yeah" epifany. I started out reeeal slow, hardly filling in anything, but somehow it didn't feel 'unfair' or "d'oh, remote wavelength"; sometimes you don't get much on first pass but it still doesn't feel 'wrong', you just kind of keep going and hope to get some illumination. (Also at one point I realized I hadn't done many of the Downs cuz I'd somehow accidentally switched back to Acrosses, so once I had at 'em, I filled in some more. Never been more happy to see Tori AMOS in a puzzle). Good clues, some nice 'n sneaky; well done. Nice to see Emil Jannings in a puzzle. My phavorite 'Flox' can sport a grin even bigger'n my grin at doing this puzzle. You might find his Denobulan smile creepy; I just find it funny. After all, he's a doctor, not a monster. <a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/ebbadea3ab905d69a702971a0a2a8ff6/dc3307d83680c27a-3a/s500x750/4508d288f586693eae97ce9abc22631180cd748b.gifv" target="_blank">https://64.media.tumblr.com/ebbadea3ab905d69a702971a0a2a8ff6/dc3307d83680c27a-3a/s500x750/4508d288f586693eae97ce9abc22631180cd748b.gifv</a> Onward to Phriday!
I enjoyed this puzzle a lot. Some different clues to old standby answers. Didn’t bother with the rebus of oh. Worked quite well with just Fs everywhere.
I put ph in the rebus square but not the f, but got credit for solving. Should I have? My fave Steven Wrighty: Came home late and mixed up my keys. Tried to open my front door with my car key and started up my apartment.
@Calhouri I only entered "f"s, and that also worked. That's typical for rebus puzzles; they usually accept either entry, or both with a slash. If the rebus entry is a word, the first letter of the word is usually accepted.
@Calhouri ...and when the cop pulled me over, he asked me where I lived, and I said, "Here." That's my favorite bit too.
Add me to the group that just used F’s to solve. It’s actually unusual for me to not use the rebus as it’s my favorite type of puzzle! But I completely forgot that it was Thursday😆 With the holidays these past two weeks, I’ve lost track of what day it is. I just assumed that Robert was being clever and using Steven Wright’s way of spelling 🤦🏼♀️ And I remember discussing in one of my high school English classes that it was ironic that phonics was not spelled phonetically 🤪
So great to see that Will Shortz is back! Congratulations on your recovery Mr. Shortz and thank you for your ongoing dedication to immersing us all in puzzles for a (too-brief) respite every day. Your team has been fantastic as you know, but you've been missed by so many who equate the words "Edited by Will Shortz" with happy anticipation of a great puzzle!
@Jills I didn’t catch that. So wonderful indeed to have Will back!