Deb, I am so sorry. What a lovely, moving tribute you have shared with us. Almost 27 years on, I still have the last NYT crossword puzzle my Dad tried to complete in his final days in ICU. He and my mother introduced me to the daily discipline of completing the Times crossword. It is so reassuring to renew that connection with them every time I start filling in a new puzzle.
Well, I solved the puzzle but after Deb's column I don't even recall it now. So sorry for your loss, Deb. And it made me remember my own father. He was a wonderful man and we were always so close when I was growing up. But then... He was B-17 pilot whose plane was shot down over Germany during World War II, and he spent almost the last year of the war in POW camp. When I came back from Vietnam after my second purple heart, that bond grew so much closer and it would be hard to describe how wonderful it was to be able to relate with him about our experiences. Some sadness, of course, but a lot of hilarity as well. Hard to explain. I'll probably be thinking about it a lot today. Again, so sorry for your loss. Take care. ...
@Rich in Atlanta Thank you Rich and Deb for sharing your moving stories.
Sorry about your dad, Deb, but that was a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.
Deb, thanks for deciding to share with us about your dad. My condolences to you. I also like hearing other folks’ parental puzzle memories. Mine is me and my sister helping mom with the acrostic. I still remember how we cracked each other up once when somehow an answer that was supposed to be “toodle-oo” ended up being “noodle-on”. We made use of “noodle-on” as a goodbye saying for years. People probably wondered about us…
I cried a little, but not because of this splendid puzzle. Every morning, I’m so lucky to get to hang out with my dad. We do the crossword and he heaps praise on every little square I fill in, no matter how obvious the clue. “Man, you’re a smart one, CC! WOW!” “How did you get that so fast?” He died in 1991. But he’s here with me and the puppies, grandsons, and son-in-law he never knew. But I think he does. He knows it all. Deb, my tears are falling on my iPad as I *promise* you- he’ll be here, peeking over your shoulder, every single day. How lucky we are. And I’m so incredibly saddened and sorry for your loss.
Deepest condolences to you and his loved ones, Deb. These are such lovely and poignant memories that you share - proving that they are a blessing.
My parents had the Sunday NYT delivered when I was growing up, just the Sunday paper. My mother, who had only a high school education, did the crossword in the Magazine. She solved as her bathroom entertainment and didn't do it in one sitting; if you used the bathroom, you'd see it in various stages of completion, on Monday, on Tuesday...eventually, it would be done. It was something I remember clearly now but paid little note of then. My mother and I never worked crosswords together; I'd never shown any interest in doing so as a kid. But sometime during college or shortly thereafter, I took them up. I guess in the back of my mind, I was a grownup now, and crosswords were things grownups did. As it turns out, I don't think I ever made much mention at any time to my mother that I started solving crosswords, before she died over 15 years ago. But here I am, having done them for over 45 years by now, every day, finishing every one for at least the past 15 years, maybe more. It's funny how some things run in the family.
Deb, I’m very sorry for your loss. I love the image of young Deb helping your dad with his crossword as a “solving team.” I’m sure your father cherished those memories as well. It has been our good fortune that your father introduced you to the wonderful world of crosswords. Loved the puzzle. A gentle but very clever and elegant theme. So many great STEELY Dan songs but “Reelin’ in the Years” contains one of my favorite lyrics: “You been tellin' me you're a genius since you were seventeen In all the time I've known you I still don't know what you mean” <a href="https://youtube.com/watch?v=5b6fPnBtUqw" target="_blank">https://youtube.com/watch?v=5b6fPnBtUqw</a>
@Puzzlemucker For whatever reason that song is my quintessential summer song. It reminds me of driving (relatively) fast down a highway with the windows rolled down, volume way up and the wind whipping through my hair.
Hello, everyone, I just wanted to pop in and thank all of you for your heartfelt and thoughtful messages. They mean so much to me, and I feel so lucky to be a part of this community.
Deb, May his memory be a blessing.
Deb, my deepest condolences to you as you remember and honor your father. Thank you so much for sharing his story with us, including his love of puzzles and his impact he had on you. Sending you and your family peace, compassion, and love during this time.
Your story about your dad pierces the heart. It includes all of it, the conflict and closeness, the respect and defiance, the values he taught you and the distance that can happen when you have been told to stick to your guns and you're on opposite sides of an argument. In the end, it's all distilled into the depth of feeling when the last hours are spent with a part of yourself you must say goodbye to. A scrap of paper can hold so much meaning, and you are blessed to still have it. Thank you for coming back to tell us what just happened and what gave you and us your commitment to a game that is for many of us so much more than a game.
Deb, your love shimmers through your words, and as you poured out your heart, you touched mine. Deep condolences for your loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss Deb. My heart goes out to you.
Deb- So sorry for your loss. That hardly seems like a deep enough thing to say, but it does come from the heart. I lost both my parents some time ago but they never leave me. Not as long as I think about them, whether I smile or frown.
Woo! First to the column by Deb: as a word-loving dad who has a couple word-loving children, nothing makes such a parent prouder and happier than to share word-loving like that, and even better if you know they're going to be OK, as you put it, so good on you for contributing in some alchemical way to increasing the time he remained alive: you (and the rest of his family) made his life that much more worth living a little longer. You can see that pride and joy in other word-loving parents, too, like when Strudel Dad comments, or, back in the day when Rachel's Mom would stop by once in a while. To the puzzle: a lot of fun, thoroughly witty and modern, very 21st century but with a dash of Wodehouse to it. For too long I had LOCUST for CICADA. (Are you a Ci-CAY-duh person or a Ci-CAH-da sort? I'm the former, my wife the latter.) But I also put down SHIPLASH, I sorta hoped that end letters to the themers would have spelled some word, the kind of extra feature that cause some of us to go insane on this chatline, but all it spelt out was MECATELT. Also liked the clandestine OPTICAL common core of this puzzle, with its SPYING through a PEEPHOLE, and what do you see? Some model named Edna giving herself a steely, leery look into the mirror as she applies primer? Or Trent Reznor at home, getting riled into spasms by the presence of an oboe in the theme song to "The Queen's Gambit" which he's about to watch, while having consommé and a nice, dry Rhone?
@john ezra the crossing of sHIPLASH would have been… not in the puzzle. 😬😁. I, too, have word-loving children. I need to cherish that fact more as the birthdays zoom past.
For all those complaining about 50A: The correct spelling is [*bruh₃], from the Indo-European root for "dude," using the conventional notation for the third, o-colored laryngeal. In the scholarly linguistic community, there is some argument on the realized pronunciation of the initial asterisk, at least by paleolithic fratboys.
Condolences on the passing of your dad. It is hard to lose a parent, no matter our age.
So touching, Deb. I'm just a month ahead of you with the death of my mom, but if you're like me, your breathing will come back, your shoulders will eventually drop back down, and your heart will find its normal rhythm again. You're in my thoughts.
This, the first NYT collab from this pair, seemed destined to be a winner. Two constructing pros with a penchant for Thursdays, and who each have a twinkle in their eye, with the knack for keeping the solver in a good mood. I felt that twinkle, for example, in clues such as [Something a meter reader reads], and [First half of a two-volume encyclopedia on physics, aptly?]. I appreciated their skill in • Coming up with this remarkable theme set at all. How did they do it? Was it, as yesterday’s constructor said, “… thinking really hard”? Was a computer involved? Would Rebecca and/or Adam like to chime in here? • Seeding beauty into the box with PINGED, MOB SCENE, APRES SKI, LAST LEGS, CICADA, CLOSE SHOP and WHIPLASH. For some reason, as I scanned the completed grid, my eyes fell on the HOP of HOPE, and the POP of POPIN, and I was thrust back to that glorious period when one of my sons was enamored with Dr. Seuss’s HOP on POP, and, as if I were there again, I relived his excitement and joy. So, smiles, respect, and heart-warming memories rising out of the box for me, Rebecca and Adam. A winner indeed. How about some more … please? Thank you for a very sweet solve!
@Lewis I second your bid for more!!!! I really really loved this one :) "The smallest bit" of WHIT was downright charming lol. I do wish this original had stayed: SKIP AD, [Label on a spot remover?].
Dear Deb, Thanks for sharing this sweet story about your dad. He sounds like a fine person. May memories like these offer you comfort and peace. My good wishes to you and your family.
Deb, thank you for sharing that with us. Your dad didn’t just get to see you doing OK and doing what you love. He got to see you doing it really, really well.
Deb, As one who recently lost a parent with whom I shared a love of crosswords, I feel your grief. My condolences. Through the magic of words and crosswords, though, your father will always be with you. How eerie is that this puzzle clues Trent Reznor, whose music I came to via Johnny Cash’s poignant version of his song Hurt.
I have never seen BRUH before that I can recall and I don’t think PUCKS ‘ ‘seek’ the goal so I was stuck with PaCK and BRaH and had no idea where I went wrong.
@Wayne Harrison Exactly where I was stuck as well. Couldn't get how PaCKS could be "goal seekers" and had to resort to Wordplay for the first time in a while.
@Wayne Harrison I got past that okay, but have no idea why PRE 'weirdly follows T.S.A.' What no doubt completely obvious little clue detail am I missing?
@TMD Simply because PRE means before. Like you, I overthought that one.
@TMD I think it's that PRE usually refer to something that comes before, as in prefix, but for T.S.A. PRE it comes after. I've never thought of that as being weird, though.
@Joe Yes, as in precheck at the airport. Their logo looks like TSA Pre✓ so maybe it makes more sense if you see it written like that. I had STEADY instead of STEELY so that was near the end for me too.
@TMD It's for TSA Pre check. Some of us who fly a lot pay for the priviledge of being in a shorter line and not having to take our shoes off. It's $85 for five years, and worth every penny! So I know that -- but didn't figure it out for the answer to the clue. That SE corner was so hard for me. I ended up peeking at the answer key. SquatS instead of SPASMS IBM instead of AOL -- I'm old. AOL is much newer than IBM RED instead of DRY -- I don't drink wine, so don't know much beyond color. BR?? -- It's usually BRO, right? How can it be 4 letters? baCKS instead of PUCKS -- don't running backs get football goals? Thank goodness for the answer key! I need to know what I don't know!!
Deb, what a beautiful, loving tribute to your late father. So saddened by your loss.
I'm so sorry, Deb. Your dad must be so proud of how much everyone here loves and cherishes you.
@Deb My mom passed a few months ago. She was 103. After she moved to FL from NY, I would call her on Saturday mornings. Sometimes, in the middle of the conversation, I could tell I had lost her for a moment. Then she would suddenly say, "What's a five letter word for...." and I knew she was doing a crossword while we were talking. Normally she would do them with my dad, but by then Alzheimer's had stolen the puzzles from him. After he passed. she moved up to Massachusetts, to be near my sister. By the time she reached 100, puzzles were starting to be a thing of the past. But now that she is gone, I know that she and Dad are watching me as I do them, poking each other, and trying to put the right answers into my head. Grief takes time. Let it move through you, but leave yourself open to the memories. As we say, "May his memory be a blessing." I find the memories are wonderful, and make great stories to pass on. Especially when there's no one around to correct them!
Oh Deb. I'm so sorry. May his memory be a blessing. My own mother loved doing the daily crossword - with pencil to newsprint - to keep her mind sharp. I started doing them later in life after observing the joy and satisfaction she derived from solving them during our weekly family get-togethers. And after a time, I too was hooked. Mom passed in 2022 due to a body that unfortunately couldn't keep up with her abundent mental abilities. I miss her every day, and think of her while entering letters into the grid. May the crossword puzzle tradition continue the memory.
Deb-- Very sorry to hear about the loss of your father. My Dad passed on last June at age 96. He wasn't a crossword solver, but he loved puns, and the staff in his Memory Care unit all noticed the twinkle in his eye when he invariably corrected their grammar. I think the last time he reminded me to say "Mary and me," not "Mary and I," was Christmas 2023, when he was 95. On the other hand, my six year-old granddaughter now eagerly watches and occasionally helps me solve the crossword, Wordle, and other games when we are together. I enjoy the thought of her solving on into the 22nd century. Please make sure the NYT puzzles are still good then.
I'm glad that you used today's column to share thoughts of your wonderful dad! So sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us, Deb. Your tribute to your dad is so lovely and honest. It's hard to carry the regrets of time and opportunities lost. My dad died when he was 46, and I will always regret our last parting. He was standing in the driveway to say goodbye. It occurred to me to give him a hug (not a thing we were big on) and say "I love you," but I was 18 and cool older friends were in the car waiting for me, so I just ran past him with a quick wave and headed back to college, never expecting that I'd never see him again. He was a good man but not an easy man; there were a lot of demons there, but I so very much wish I'd have done better. It taught me that while I can't change that day, I can do my absolute best to ensure no one else I love dies without knowing I love them. I've learned that grief is love that doesn't quite know where to go... that it's not a thing to get over but, once it's not quite as acute, to make room for and to feel the love. I hope you'll be easy on yourself about your regrets. Your dad sounds like he would admire feistiness, so I've no doubt he was actually very proud of you for the strong person you are, despite the conflicts—as much as he was proud of you for your crossword success. I'm so happy for the warm times you had together and that you brought him such comfort in the end. That's everything! My deepest condolences. 💖
@HeathieJ My father died at 44, when I was 11. A lot of what you said was rings so familiar, and so true. I had a lot of problems with my father, and, had he lived, I can't imagine what the Vietnam War situation would have done to our already fragile relationship. But I sure do miss knowing him when we were both adults.
Deb, your column was a worthy tribute to your dad. Thank you for sharing a bit of the textured life you had with him. The fact that you always had crosswords in common is a testament to the love you shared. That you were able to build an amazing career on the primary way you connected with him demonstrates the power of your relationship. May your family find peace. 💐 The puzzle was an ideal Thursday. Excellent collaboration! I had to peek at the column a couple of times but it was not because of bad clueing. I just needed more confidence. Great job 👍🏾.
Dear Deb: Thank you for sharing this loving tribute. May his memory be a blessing. I, too, would do the Sunday crossword with Dad. One of the proudest moments for both of us happened a few years after college. I went to visit my parents at their condo. Early Sunday morning I got the NYT from outside the door where it was delivered. When my Dad came into the kitchen somewhat later, I was able to present to him the completed crossword and the acrostic(this was close to 50 years ago). He looked at it and then me and smiled and said I guess that liberal arts education was not wasted.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Deb. My grandma taught me how to do crosswords and the day she died, I did the one in the paper and tucked it into her blankets to be taken away with her. I hope the memories of puzzling with your dad bring you comfort.
The puzzle aside, Deb, your poignant recounting of your father’s brave battle and how he got you started with the NYT crosswords was something wonderful to share. I think many of us have similar memories of those we shared the solving experience with. A departed loved one, a past relationship, their memories are often evoked by the crossword. So sorry for your loss Deb.
Oh, Deb, what a very sad time you're going through. I'm so very sorry. I know your father's memory will always be a blessing to you and yours. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and story with us. We all care about you very much! As for the puzzle, much like you, I also wanted [Genesis creator] to be Robert Palmer or Phil Collins. Here is one of Mr. Collins' favorite songs from his time with Genesis: <a href="https://youtu.be/jpmiZ7zsHXY?feature=shared" target="_blank">https://youtu.be/jpmiZ7zsHXY?feature=shared</a> As for the theme, this is the kind of play with the language that just blows my mind. CLOSES SHOP/LOSES HOPE. APRÈS SKI/PRESS KIT. How brilliant the minds that can come up with these! - in this case, the brilliant minds of Rebecca and Adam. What a dynamic duo! Thank you so much to the two of you for this terrific puzzle.
@sotto voce Maybe you mean Peter Gabriel? I believe Robert Palmer was sneaking through the alley with Sally back in those days
Deb, so sorry for your loss. Your story really parallels that of my grandfather who is the one who introduced me to the Sunday crossword when I was in second grade. He too would pretend like he couldn’t solve a clue and ask for my help when he thought I might know the answer. As I reflect back on it now, it amazes me that he was able to complete them based on the fact that Spanish was his first language and he only went to school through 9th grade. He was a proud member of the 82nd Airborne. He was 92 when he passed away. I’m cherishing the memories that you stirred up today and I hope your memories with your dad can offer you comfort in this difficult time. Rebecca and Adam, thank you for this one. Clever clues and theme!!
Deb - what a beautiful way to remember and honor your father. So sorry for your loss. I'm sure he was truly proud of you - his solving teammate / puzzle partner. You made it to the puzzling big leagues, even! Sending all the love your way and hoping you continue to live life with curiosity and gratitude. Xx PS - today's puzzle was a lot of fun, especially for a Thursday.
Reading Ms. Amlen's beautiful tribute to her father, any commentary about the puzzle feels unnecessary. Loved ones are important; games (and commenting on them) feels somewhat frivolous by comparison. I'll add my condolences to all the others here. May his memory be for a blessing.
So sorry for your loss! May his memory always be a blessing! He will always be there with you! My father passed over 60 years ago! He’s never far from my mind! He did crosswords, too!
Deb, I’m sorry to hear about your father. I hope pleasant memories such as the one about “helping” your dad solve crosswords bring you some solace.
What a tender tribute to your father. Now I’m tearing up thinking of my own. Wishing you peace and comfort in your grief.
Oh Deb, what a sad loss for you and your family, but what lovely memories you were able to make before he died. I’m so glad you’re able to look back at your lives together and take comfort from knowing how much he loved you and how proud he was of you and your sister. My Dad and I were also frequently at loggerheads; sadly our issues were not resolved at the point of his death 26 years ago, both of us too proud and stubborn. It’s an ongoing regret I carry. Today’s crossword is very clever, if a little simpler than the average, Rebi infested Thursday, for which I’m thankful on a gloomy foggy day at the rough end of January. Ready for Spring now, enough with the rain already. Every dog walk is a swim through mud. Ugh.
Many condolences, Deb, on the passing of your father. Your beautifully-written tribute, and the many lovely notes in this feed from others who have lost parents (esp those parents who onboarded us to crosswords!) is bringing tears to my eyes too. I count myself among those whose dad did the crossword and got me hooked too, with joy at the wordplay, the infinite possibilities of language and nuance, and the thrill of the solve. I miss him … an oddity is that when I do the rare pen-to-ink xword (say, in an in-flight magazine), my fill is structured capital letters, a little cramped and not really like I usually write — but an awful lot like dad’s penmanship.
Sending condolences to Deb. I, too, inherited my love of the crosswords from my parents. I can picture both my dad's and my mom's handwriting as they filled them in. I solve online, but once in a while I catch a whiff of instant coffee mixed with cigarettes - the smell of childhood Sunday mornings. (That sounds gross, but I'm in my 60s and I suspect many of you know what I mean.)
My condolences, Deb, on your great loss. I feel so flattered that you should share your grief with us, your on-line commentariat family. What an impressive puzzle! To come up with four real-language pairs of eight- or nine-letter words, which share all but one of those letters--well wow! Not to mention A TO M--that should certainly make it onto L's Monday morning list! It makes up for BR-H: I was going to ask my homies, but they're not all that good at spelling, so I ran the vowels instead. Ah, that kind of goal! Here's two musical offerings with ties to my hometown of Cleveland, Ohio: Here's an old friend playing one which isn't black: <a href="https://youtube.com/watch?v=W_tcbHZPNrA" target="_blank">https://youtube.com/watch?v=W_tcbHZPNrA</a> I didn't know him, but here's some grainy footage of Mr. Reznor from before his NIN days: <a href="https://youtube.com/watch?v=NtbsTP9aOZA" target="_blank">https://youtube.com/watch?v=NtbsTP9aOZA</a> (The band was formed by a couple of percussion majors from the Cleveland Institute of Music, and took their name from the work "Oiseaux Exotiques." by the French composer Olivier Messaien. I was always surprised they never made it out of the local circuit.)
Such a beautiful tribute to your father, Deb. For so many of us the crossword was a connection to a parent--in my case, my mother. Your presence here is such a boon to us all, and my heart is with you. Thank you for sharing your joys and sorrows with us, and for your work bringing these puzzles to us every week. Especially puzzles like today's. 21A is one of the best clues I've seen in a while (merely the brightest star among a glittering panoply today). And doesn't one have to adore a puzzlemaker casually dropping a delightful word like "sprezzatura" into the conversation!
@David Reiffel Thank you for calling out 21A: I went back and looked again just now, and only then did the penny drop! I filled it from crosses and had only glanced at it enough to make sure it made sense... I saw the noun and moved on. Getting the double entendre makes it SO much more satisfying!
My dad just passed last year. So sorry Deb. But we are still living, and so wanted you to know I let out a loud Whoop! that scared my wife (don’t ever do that again!) when I finished this puzzle with no look ups. Perfect puzzle level for me, so crafty, thanks!
Are you always this touching and deep when expressing your sorrow over another persons loss?
@lawrenceb56 I agree the transition was a touch jarring but calling him out seems a little aggressive. Why not save it for actual offenses